Thousand Island Dressing
The one where I go to the Waffle House, I get knocked-up (not at the Waffle House), I mull-over what I am going to be like when I’m old and crotchety and conclude waitresses will probably spit in my food a lot, and I assert a pro-mayo agenda.
That. That is the Patty Melt. Can you believe I had never had a patty melt until I went to grad school… and it was like my 3rd year there? Ahh, yes. I remember it fondly. It was about 4 am at The Waffle House. I had quite heartily imbibed in whatever disgusting $1.00 cocktail was on special that night, and where else would a bunch of inebriated and famished nerds go? The place where all the cops are, of course. Because cops know where to get the best grub at 4am.
Shortly after having my first patty melt, I got knocked up (don’t worry, it was on purpose and completely unrelated to the patty melt). But during that, my first pregnancy, I ate approximately 400 pounds of patty melts. I craved those suckers. And I became a bit of a patty melt snob. Waffle House melts were no longer up to par. I found a fancy-dancey burger joint that served the absolute best patty melts on the planet. And so once I started really cooking, I set out to copy-cat theirs. This one comes really close, partly due to the rye-pumpernickel swirl bread, and partly because of the tangy homemade Thousand Island dressing. Someday soon I plan to attempt my own homemade pump-rye swirl, but Pepperidge Farms works for me.
My patty melt consists of a ginormous burger (like almost 1/2 pound), 4 slices of Swiss, 4 slices of sharp Cheddar, enough pickle slices to cause a severe case of dehydration, of course grilled onions, and a gravy-boat full of my homemade Thousand Island dressing on the side. It is a massive burger. My husband and I have just given up and started sharing one. We could never finish a whole one (try as we might) so now we just share. I think that is sad. Like that’s the line you cross on your way to becoming a crotchety old fart. “Yes, we’d like to share the early-bird meatloaf special because we are old AND cheap. And I’d like an unsweetened ice tea with six Splendas, two glasses and two straws. Please don’t spit in my food.”
Moving on… So we share it. Because ridonkulously huge. But what we don’t share is the Thousand Island dressing. We each get our own ramekin of that. And I am not ashamed to say I will use 1/4 cup of that stuff on one half of a patty melt, it is sooo good. I started making my own Thousand Island dressing because I don’t like how sweet your typical bottled dressing is. Plus, you can use low-fat or no-fat mayo so you can kid yourself into thinking the 900 calorie burger isn’t gonna blow your diet.
This Thousand Island is a bit tangy-er than the classic and is a little light on the ketchup. I am a HUGE fan of mayo and I simply can’t understand how some people hate it, but much like I am puzzled by those weirdos who don’t like mayo, they are probably equally aghast by the fact that I don’t like ketchup. It’s just not my thing. Again, too sweet. I don’t need my brats and dogs to taste like they have a candy-coating. No thanks. So, I go light on the ketchup. If you are a friend of Heinz, feel free to add an additional tablespoon to the recipe below. If you wanna screw it up, that is.
…(but not really).
So grab my secret recipe for the most-bestest patty melt accompaniment known to man, and tell me: Are you a lover or hater of mayo? We can still be friends if you hate it, and I won’t judge, but I’m sort of taking an informal, unscientific poll. Just for fun. Because fun is good.
[recipe title=”Tangy Thousand Island Dressing” servings=”1/2 cup” time=”5min” difficulty=”a monkey could do it”
- mayonnaise 1/2 cup
- dill pickle, finely minced 3 tbsp
- ketchup 1 tbsp
- fresh lime juice 1 tsp
- pickle juice 1/2 tsp
- sugar 1/2 tsp
- garlic powder 1/4 tsp
- hot sauce (optional) 3 drops
- salt and pepper to taste
- Combine all ingredients in a small bowl and refrigerate for at least 1 hour before serving.
This is an original recipe by Glory Thorpe of Foodie*ish and was originally published on Foodieish.com. All content and photos ©2015 Foodie*ish. All Rights Reserved.